What a Nervous Singer Taught Me About Anxiety

(Five science-backed ways to steady your mind and body when the stakes feel high)

At choir rehearsal last week, one of our singers said quietly,

“I love singing — but I get so nervous performing.”

I get it.

Our community choir is preparing for our big Auckland Town Hall performance, and even in a group of more than 250 voices, those nerves can sneak in.

That conversation reminded me how universal that feeling is.
Whether it’s a job interview, a presentation, or a difficult conversation, we all brace ourselves before something that matters.

That quick tightening — the shoulders, the breath, the pulse — is your body’s way of saying: this matters.

But what if, instead of bracing against the nerves, you could BRACE with them?

Here’s how.

Five science-backed ways to calm your body, steady your mind, and turn nervous energy into focus.

🧠 B — Breathe to Reset

Take a deep inhale through your nose, then a short top-up breath.
Exhale slowly through your mouth.

That’s the cyclic sigh — shown to balance the autonomic nervous system and quickly reduce physiological arousal (Huberman 2022).

Two in, long out — calm without doubt.
(It’s a little corny, but I do love a rhyme.)

🔄 R — Reframe Anxiety as Excitement

The body doesn’t know the difference between anxiety and excitement — only the story you attach to it.

When you say, “I’m excited,” your heart rate and adrenaline stay the same, but your brain labels the feeling as readiness rather than fear (Brooks 2014).

Same energy, new story.

⚖️ A — Anchor in the Body

Anxiety lives in the body — so that’s where you can calm it fastest.

Try a quick somatic reset: shake out your hands, roll your shoulders, feel your feet on the floor.
Grounding through physical sensation lowers cortisol and tells your brain, I’m safe.

In your body, you’re back.

🗣️ C — Coach Yourself

Talk to yourself the way a supportive coach would.
Use your name — “Kim, you’ve got this.”

This simple shift — sometimes called “third-person self-talk” — activates your brain’s self-regulation networks (Kross 2021).

Be your coach, not your critic.

⚡ E — Energise with Emotion

Generate a little positive emotion — a smile, a brief laugh, a breath of gratitude.
Think of All Black Damien McKenzie’s grin before he kicks: a small, steadying ritual that signals I’m ready.

Positive emotion dials down the body’s threat response and widens your focus.

Find your small spark.

💡 The BRACE Mindset

Breathe. Reframe. Anchor. Coach. Energise.
Each step helps you move with the nerves — not fight them.

So next time you feel yourself tensing before something that matters, remember:
you don’t have to banish the butterflies.
Just pick one thing from BRACE.

🌟 Why I’m Thinking About This Now

I’ll be putting all of these into practice soon — singing with over 250 voices at the Auckland Town Hall for
Mixtape for the Mission, a special concert supporting Auckland City Mission.

It’s more than a performance; it’s about music, community, and giving back.
250 voices. One stage. One cause.

🗓 Auckland Town Hall | Sun 9 Nov, 4 pm
🎟 Tickets $32–$38: Buy tickets here

✨ Final Note

Whether you’re stepping onto a stage or into any moment that matters — your nerves mean you care.
Breathe with them.
BRACE with them.

And if you’re in Auckland, come share in the music that makes all that energy worthwhile. I’d love to see you there.